Facebook Honesty Box

Since it is always interesting to see how people react when there seems to be no consequence, such as the belief in total anonymity. It is also interesting to see how people react to the mystery of the unknown, such as an anonymous message.

But, yada yada.

My plan is to send a number of messages using the Honesty Box on Facebook to see people responses to a mysterious messenger. The more bizarre the message the better, as getting people out of their comfort zone rocks 8)

Anyway, For Science!!

1) To Geoff:
"geoff i love you man" 1:14am

2) To Kelly:
"kelly you were always the one that got away" 1:14am

3) To Laura:
"i used to stare at your boobs in middle school :|" 1:14am

4) To Amanda:
"I really think we could have hit it off, you know." 1:45am

5) To Katrina:
"Have you ever thought about opening a donut shop?" 1:45am

6) To Samantha:
"i could have won. i could have beaten you!" 1:45am

7) To Roshelle:
"why did you forget about me :(" 1:45am

8) To Jessica:
"I've always wanted to eat your hair for some reason" 1:45am


Let's see where we go from here, then. 

My Internet Soulmate Pt 2.5: Craigslist Responses

Well so far so good. It's been a day since I made those craigslist posts, and already I've had a few responses! 

(I blocked the email addresses so you guys don't fuck it up for me)

1) Creepy Gay Guy

Well the first response I received was rather "colorful." 



(The picture is actually from the guy's myspace)

2) Actual Potential Soulmate!

This gal responded to my guitar hero ad. Things are looking good so far! Let's just hope she isn't another creepy gay guy. (not that i have a problem with homosexuals or anything)



3) BBWs

This next one was tricky. It arrived in my inbox as a text message from a mysterious number, and it wasn't jesus.



She pulls a fast one by asking if I like "BBWs." Now, I've never been good with acronyms, but thank science for wikipedia.


Hopefully we'll get more replies to my posts :\

My Internet Soulmate Pt. 2

Fuck those other sites, the only reponses I got were bullshit ones. :((

On to the real steady source of potential soulmates: Craigslist!

I have already made a few posts, hopefully someone will respond :)

http://norfolk.craigslist.org/cas/490452512.html
http://norfolk.craigslist.org/msr/490471189.html
http://norfolk.craigslist.org/m4w/490471629.html
http://norfolk.craigslist.org/stp/490474513.html
http://norfolk.craigslist.org/ers/490476800.html

Now we wait...

My Internet Soulmate pt 1

FACT: Everyone needs their soulmate.

Where better to look for a soulmate than the internet? Gone are the days of blind dates from cups with strings, and arrived are the days of meeting people online through shady profiles.

FACT: My goal is to find my soulmate on one of these sites.

I've gone ahead and made a few profiles on a few sites, hoping to make some online friends. I'll post them at the bottom of this posting.

FACT: I'm going to avoid the obvious Myspace and Facebook profiles.

I have too many friends on those sites and it could turn embarrassing.

FACT: My first strategy will be to "carpet bomb" profiles of women.

I'll probably send a message to the effect of "OH HAI I SEE U THAR", or at least something along those lines.

FACT: With the amount of online dating sites out there, I'm bound to meet someone.

JustSayHi (aka generic dating site): http://www.justsayhi.com/user/my_profile

OkCupid! (neat "Web 2.0" design): http://www.okcupid.com/profile?u=jmhagemann

Plentyoffish (/doesn't trust this site): http://www.plentyoffish.com/member5724445.htm

I might add more later if I get bored.

word of the day i hate

"Sheeple" is a stupid word. In fact, it's a fake word, and I still hate it. If you want to convince people of stuff or even if you want to just sound kinda smart, don't use it.

Top Five uses for american money

With the dollar growing weaker everyday, we'll need new uses for our money. Here are the top five best ways to use the dollar today and in the future.

5. Stain Cleaner - We've all been there - coffee spilled all over the desk and no paper towels for miles. Rather than ignore it, we can now safe use our now useless paper money to absorb the coffee. See? Problem solved with a little ingenuity. :)
4. Rolling Paper - Now we'll not have to worry about using bible pages and we'll also get a little extra.
3. Wallpaper - This is an easy one, and i know wallpaper is out, but using money on one wall in a room (especially a den or kid's room) will do good to remind us of how our economic woe. :(
2. Drift Net - A good way to use the dollar to help make Canadian dollars is to use dollars as a drift net, thus catching lots of tuna and dolphins, which can be sold for some serious cash, at the expense of your relationship with that environmentalist girl you met in your english 111 class.
1. Condoms - Babies = expensive. Condoms = less babies.

This is what i'm getting you for christmas

What is it? How do you explain it? Why don't I have one?

http://www.popcornshirt.com/
http://www.popcornshirt.com/
http://www.popcornshirt.com/

i'm the man

of la mancha

devil's advocate

People always complain win companies like Viacom have colbert and conan o'brien skits removed from Youtube, and I believe they are at least partially right in this trek of theirs.

Why, you ask?

Imagine you write a book. Then someone comes along and takes that book and puts it somewhere everyone can read it. Sure, that seems alright, right? The spread of knowledge is good, they say. But what if where this book was put so anyone can read it there were ads that made the guy who released your book for free money when people read them, and you get nothing in return.

Wouldn't you be at least a little mad that someone was making money off your work?

first saturday night live skit

This is really really funny 8)

Freezecracker is amazing

so yeah don't even try to disagree

Dancing capacitors, you say?

Money Please

alright i've added ads. Now gogogo click them and make me money!

Top two reasons to buy the radio shack warranty

Next time you're at Radio Snack and i'm selling you a cell phone or a laptop, here are two reasons to buy that warranty we offer

1. It covers the batteries! Normally on cell phones the warranty for two years is $49.99, or $800 canadian. The warranty covers the replacement of the battery on the program once a year, and the price of batteries are usually 49.99, so it's actually worth it.
2. It gives me commission. Yeah, I get like five bucks for it and you get my eternal gratification. So, really, if you buy one from me I'll be more likely to give you concessions in the future. Think about it.
   

State of a Heroes

I haven't been watching that show Heroes at all lately. Last season I didn't miss an episode. What happened? Why aren't I watching it?

It isn't a decline in show quality (i'd have to watch it to know if the quality was declining)

It isn't a lack of naked Claire (that's what the internet is for)

No, I just seem to keep forgetting it's on.

Where's the Drugs?

Where's the drugs?
he asked.

Under the seat
beneath the cleat
they sat

There's the drugs
i say

Bill Nye: Homeless?

Yes, reputable sources from the people close to Bill Nye have told me this unfortunate fact.

Now, you may be asking "But Jared, how can a famous scientist like Bill Nye become homeless?" The answer is very clear, and that answer clearly is evolution.

You see, the people of the world have evolved past their humble roots of daily watching Bill Nye on public television channels. No longer does anyone care about science or public tv. They'd much rather spend their time on cell phones or facebook.

What use is a television scientist to a public who doesn't give a shit? That's right, the streets.

you tah mur cah ree

That's how you might talk if exposed to mercury in rural Utah. Yes, it is true, mercury is in Utah's water supplies. What can be done, though? It is already there. Perhaps the water should be drained.

Maybe it is not the element we should be worried about. After all, people only seem to bring it up when talking about fish or water. Coincidence? Perhaps it is not the element at all! It is the water and fish causing the supposed "mercury" symptoms.

If I am right (have I been wrong) this could be the biggest government coverup ever. So, fire up the blogosphere guys!

Poop Soup and You

It is my obligation to you, the humble reader, to understand what is going on in our world so I can write about some of that here. Poop soup is one subject of grave importance.

What is poop soup, you ask? Poop soup is what will be, and in some places is, on the streets of many American communities. The source? Sewers.

Sewers around our nation are aging. Many were built years ago and not improved on much since. This is not good, you must see, for more people are here than were a few years ago, and where does all their shit go if the sewers won't grow? That's right: your lawn.

So, ultimately, talk to your city council about fixing the fucking sewers, for it is a subject that politicians will love to through around when election time comes.

Frunk

A perhaps famous member of the Mega64rums is Frunk. I have always kind of looked up to him and wanted to be more like him, to not much avail.

Frunk was a big help to me when I began my crusades against other forums in the form of forum invasions. Frunk kept the humor going whenever I ran out of ideas (which was pretty fast).

So, yeah, thanks Frunk.

Deforestation

Deforestation really sucks ass. The alarming rates the Amazon Rain Forest has been deforested was carefully and truthfully documented in the famous Michael Moore documentary "Ferngully."

But, really, it sucks ass for people because that means less nitrogen and co2 is being absorbed and there will be less trees to sit under and play guitar, and there will also be less space for exotic animals to live and wait to be poached.

No one really gives a shit about it because there's not much that will be done anytime soon.

Introsuction

I suppose I'll start my blog out by telling of my intentions.


I intend that this blog will catalog my thoughts and ideas at some point in time so I can later look back on what an idiot I truly am.

A great gain for you, the humble reader, is that, thanks to the public features of my blog, can see how much an idiot I truly am anytime you want.

So, welcome to my blog, I guess.