Top Five uses for american money

With the dollar growing weaker everyday, we'll need new uses for our money. Here are the top five best ways to use the dollar today and in the future.

5. Stain Cleaner - We've all been there - coffee spilled all over the desk and no paper towels for miles. Rather than ignore it, we can now safe use our now useless paper money to absorb the coffee. See? Problem solved with a little ingenuity. :)
4. Rolling Paper - Now we'll not have to worry about using bible pages and we'll also get a little extra.
3. Wallpaper - This is an easy one, and i know wallpaper is out, but using money on one wall in a room (especially a den or kid's room) will do good to remind us of how our economic woe. :(
2. Drift Net - A good way to use the dollar to help make Canadian dollars is to use dollars as a drift net, thus catching lots of tuna and dolphins, which can be sold for some serious cash, at the expense of your relationship with that environmentalist girl you met in your english 111 class.
1. Condoms - Babies = expensive. Condoms = less babies.